Uh... I feel, that this has given me the most incredible and wonderful thing that I have ever been given and also, th-the worst. It-it's a mixed bag. It- uh... I have been taken to the- absolutly to the depths of extreme terror by this. I've had my whole soul undermined by it.... on the one hand. On the other hand, uh.. in one sence, my-uh.. my experiece has been about finding joy... joy... joy.. joy.. joy... joy... joy... joy... joy... joy... joy..joy..joy.joyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoy....